Singlehood at the Heart of Decision-Making

Singlehood contains multitudes—those who are born to it, those who come to it through separation and divorce, and those who have it thrust upon them. And singlehood is intersectional, experienced differently according to a person’s cultural background, gender, sexuality, age, parental status, their physical and mental disposition and capacity, and not least, their economic situation. Until now we have been blind to the diversity of singlehood and imagined it is simply the absence of a partner.  

But, here’s the thing. How we imagine singlehood influences how we collect data, design policies, and because we are blind to the multiplicity of singlehood, single people is absent from policy and suffer an economic and social penalty unwittingly imposed simply because they don’t have a partner.

Firstly, we imagine singlehood is gendered, that it is primarily about self sufficient single women, and single mothers. This assumption combines with our innate privileging of coupling and parenting to focus on single mothers, and of late, single fathers. And it’s true, singlehood is gendered. In 2023, 45% of our one-person households housed women, and 78% of single parents were women. In fact, the ABS predicts that by 2046 women will live in over 50% of our one-person households, and up to 80% of single parents will be women. Nevertheless, women are increasingly choosing not to be mothers. and few, if any policies support them, because we don’t imagine women without a partner, an ex-partner, and children.

Imagining women as stand-alone citizens for substantial periods of, if not their entire lives, will transform all our policy making, service provision, and our corporate and business responses to customers and employees.

Historically nations measured their single population as what’s left over after counting married people. Now most countries include cohabiting couples with married people in their census, but this assumes singlehood is the residue of coupling. That is, singles are either the bookends of family life comprised of young adults and widows, or those incapable of, or disinclined to couple. It overlooks couples living apart, singles in share houses, and those living with relatives, it assumes singlehood spans the life course. But singlehood is populated by those who are born to it, those who achieve it through separation and divorce, and those who have it thrust upon them.

Another common measure of single populations is the way they live. We identify this through single-parent and one-person households. When combined, these two measures come close to identifying a nation’s single population, but there are oversights.

• single-parent households identify those parenting alone but not single parents with partners living elsewhere, or adult children living elsewhere, or children living in care

• one-person households don’t distinguish singles from couples living apart, members of polyamorous families, singles living with parents, or in shared accommodation

• these measurements don't identify singles living in institutions, and separated couples living beneath the same roof for economic reasons

To detect couples living apart, social researchers use a declarative approach. Survey participants are asked if they are in a committed relationship, or single. Although a margin of error is incorporated, it is not beyond reason that two people in the same relationship hold different views on the nature of that relationship, especially when living apart. Many living alone declare themselves single due to the ubiquitous belief that our accommodation defines our relationship status.

It is not the type of relationship, but the privileges and disadvantages of relationships that matter.

Singlehood Australia considers singlehood is an identity with independent meaning and standing. This enables us to imagine a society in which singles, couples, and families interact equally with the law, the economy, the workplace, the market, the urban environment, and the social system. A society where no specific relationship or parental status is more valued than another, where people flow between coupling, parenthood, and singlehood throughout their lives, and in which public policies and programs respond to the economic and social privileges and shortcomings of all relationships and parental statuses to ensure inclusion and equality.

In such a society the policymaker creates policies responsive to the relationship flow of every person’s life, the demographer identifies the diversity of a nation’s single population to inform policy, the politician recognises every single person is a citizen giving consent to be governed. In such a society, everyone is present in the heart of decision-making.